. . . .
had a really unpleasant wk dis wk.
it was to the point where i logged on to aamc to see if there were
still avail dates to tk d mcat next yr. yea, i wanted to tk d mcat
again and pack up and quit here.
i guess i was having some difficulties adjusting and adapting to
the chinese environment here. it frustrated me further when i felt
i cldnt find any help even when i tried to look for them.
kinda like they heard you, they knew u needed help but they just
watch how you survive, or die.... ~
like i was trying to be exempted from my eng class coz by merit,
i cld have but i didnt know i cld apply to be exempted nor did i
expect to have to attend eng classes during d first yr. well, so i
figured a lot of things out during wk zero, orientation wk. i then
tried my best and fastest to fix up the holes. thankfully, the acad
ppl were understanding n willing to assist us though d datelines
were over. but there was dis particular lady whom i really felt like
letting out all my swear words on. she simply refused to help and
snubbed me when i tried to b polite and reasoned things out w her.
to d point that she WALKED OFF in d midst of our (my) convo
with her when i turned away for a sec to reply my fren's qn.
i was so totally pissed w her. what an obnoxious attitude. freakin rude.
i then emailed d intl ofc coordinator abt it. she didnt reply to ask abt
it nor follow up on it. thus, i really felt at that point that things were
really lacking n not what i expected them to be. or perhaps, ive
experienced d svcs rendered to students in sg n aussie unis.. and i
cldnt tk how things were being managed. the opposition in me began
to emerge.. HA HA.
i had to let things out. so i shared w another intl student whom i thot
was more able to connect w me on a different level than the young ones.
shared my thots w another intl senior. i was surprised they felt d same
as i did. i discussed the issues with them in a measured way and i feel
i wanna mk things better. i guess that's the good thing abt me. yes, i
am upset abt things, policies, people but i dun just complain abt them.
i will want to try to fix things, mk things better.
so d idea of forming a intl student club to manage d needs of intl
students.. to form a support network esp. for those who are having
or will have some difficulties transiting into a 99% chinese speaking
& learning environment. i dun see those who were chinese educated
having as much probs settling in as those who were eng educated all
their lives. so, more needs to be done really. not to babysit us and to
cater to our english whims. but rather, to help transit comfortably with
help and support given. afterall, we knew wat we r getting into when
we applied. so i dun expect them to change to accom us. the crucial
part is the beginning and the support n network that is given.
so that is in my mind. to discuss, to work on and hopefully to form
the club b4 the next batch comes in. im not out to mk enemies but
to mk things better for myself n for the others. i fight for what i think
it's justice and fair la.
anywayz, i didnt really sit myself down and run thru the past 3 wks
deliberately but i realized im having difficulties settling in and changing
myself to fit into the environment. yea, im definitely upset abt the dark
sides of things, no scholarships, no bursaries and all the things i wished
i got them but i didnt yet others got them, despite my acads being on par
or perhaps even better than theirs. i was definitely not balanced n upset.
but i felt myself smacking myself up and pulling myself out of self pity.
yes, i didnt start with all the things others had n i wanted but that doesnt
mk me less qualified. i am just as qualified and equalled to excel.
as long as i work hard, i will excel both academically and financially.
and it all has to do with my attitude.
i was expecting d school to be like those in sg or aussie. i was expecting
them to accom to us in english, to understand that we arent chinese edu.
that if they wanna be recog as an intl uni, then THEY need to change.
what i failed to see was, i chose to come here. yes, i can feel unjust abt
certain things but im here to learn as much as i can and grad as a doctor.
instead of rejecting chinese, I have and will master medicine in chinese too.
ultimately, if i am to serve the community at large in the future, be it locally
in tw or sg, most of them do not speak english. and i need to know my
medical terms in chinese to b able to explain to them!
I am the one that needs to change.
so i guess im really here for a reason.
instead of hoping for everything to be changed to english, i shd start
learning my medical terms, at least the basics, in chinese. for whatever
reasons or where i shd be serving in the future, i guess everything
happens for a reason(s).
but im still upset abt that lady la. ARGH.
dun treat others like u r so much higher up than them. sucky attitude.
the world is round.
what goes around, WILL come around.
i hope i survive the next 6 years.
nope, i wanna excel. not just survive.
i wanna excel academically, in research n in intl/overseas medical
engagements, shining so that smc (sg) will sit up n tk notice!!
and improve the intl support n network for others coming in!
I NEED TO WORK TOO.
hopefully i discover, like a brilliant idea, that can earn me thousands in
passive income so i dun have to worry about money at all!!
now, better get the studying momentum going.
tests n exams r comiing....
. . . .
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